Odyssey

There came a common beggar to the court,

Who in the city begg'd of all resort,

Excell'd in madness of the gut, drunk, ate,

Past intermission, was most hugely great,

Yet had no fibres in him nor no force,

In sight a man, in mind a living corse.

His true name was Arnæus, for his mother

Impos'd it from his birth, and yet another

The city youth would give him (from the course

He after took, deriv'd out of the force

That need held on him, which was up and down

To run on all men's errands through the town)

Which sounded Irus. When whose gut was come,

He needs would bar Ulysses his own home,

And fell to chiding him: "Old man," said he,

"Your way out of the entry quickly see

Be with fair language taken, lest your stay

But little longer see you dragg'd away.

See, sir, observe you not how all these make

Direct signs at me, charging me to take

Your heels, and drag you out? But I take shame.

Rise yet, y' are best, lest we two play a game

At cuffs together." He bent brows, and said:

"Wretch! I do thee no ill, nor once upbraid

Thy presence with a word, nor, what mine eye

By all hands sees thee giv'n, one thought envy.

Nor shouldst thou envy others. Thou may'st see

The place will hold us both; and seem'st to me

A beggar like myself; which who can mend?

The Gods give most to whom they least are friend.

The chief goods Gods give, is in good to end.

But to the hands' strife, of which y' are so free,

Provoke me not, for fear you anger me;

And lest the old man, on whose scorn you stood,

Your lips and bosom make shake hands in blood.

I love my quiet well, and more will love

To-morrow than to-day. But if you move

My peace beyond my right, the war you make

Will never after give you will to take

Ulysses' house into your begging walk."

"O Gods," said he, "how volubly doth talk

This eating gulf! And how his fume breaks out,

As from an old crack'd oven! Whom I will clout

So bitterly, and so with both hands mall

His chaps together, that his teeth shall fall

As plain seen on the earth as any sow's,

That ruts the corn-fields, or devours the mows.

Come, close we now, that all may see what wrong

An old man tempts that takes at cuffs a young."

Thus in the entry of those lofty tow'rs

These two, with all spleen, spent their jarring pow'rs.

Antinous took it, laugh'd, and said: "O friends,

We never had such sport! This guest contends

With this vast beggar at the buffet's fight.

Come, join we hands, and screw up all their spite."

All rose in laughters; and about them bore

All the ragg'd rout of beggars at the door.

Then mov'd Antinous the victor's hire

To all the Wooers thus: "There are now at fire

Two breasts of goat; both which let law set down

Before the man that wins the day's renown,

With all their fat and gravy. And of both

The glorious victor shall prefer his tooth,

To which he makes his choice of, from us all,

And ever after banquet in our hall,

With what our boards yield; not a beggar more

Allow'd to share, but all keep out at door."

This he propos'd; and this they all approv'd,

To which Ulysses answer'd: "O most lov'd,

By no means should an old man, and one old

In chief with sorrows, be so over-bold

To combat with his younger; but, alas,

Man's own-ill-working belly needs will pass

This work upon me, and enforce me, too,

To beat this fellow. But then, you must do

My age no wrong, to take my younger's part,

And play me foul play, making your strokes' smart

Help his to conquer; for you eas'ly may

With your strengths crush me. Do then right, and lay

Your honours on it in your oaths, to yield

His part no aid, but equal leave the field."

All swore his will. But then Telemachus

His father's scoffs with comforts serious

Could not but answer, and made this reply:

"Guest! If thine own pow'rs cheer thy victory,

Fear no man's else that will not pass it free.

He fights with many that shall touch but thee.

I'll see thy guest-right paid. Thou here art come

In my protection; and to this the sum

Of all these Wooers (which Antinous are

And King Eurymachus) conjoin their care."

Both vow'd it. When Ulysses, laying by

His upper weed, his inner beggary

Near show'd his shame, which he with rags prevented

Pluck'd from about his thighs, and so presented

Their goodly sight, which were so white and great,

And his large shoulders were to view so set

By his bare rags, his arms, his breast, and all,

So broad, and brawny—their grace natural

Being kept by Pallas, ever standing near—

That all the Wooers his admirers were

Beyond all measure, mutual whispers driv'n

Through all their cluster, saying: "Sure as heav'n

Poor Irus pull'd upon him bitter blows.

Through his thin garment what a thigh he shows!"

They said; but Irus felt. His coward mind

Was mov'd at root. But now he needs must find

Facts to his brags; and forth at all parts fit

The servants brought him, all his art'ries smit

With fears and tremblings. Which Antinous saw,

And said: "Nay, now too late comes fear. No law

Thou shouldst at first have giv'n thy braggart vein,

Nor should it so have swell'd, if terrors strain

Thy spirits to this pass, for a man so old,

And worn with penuries that still lay hold

On his ragg'd person. Howsoever, take

This vow from me for firm: That if, he make

Thy forces stoop, and prove his own supreme,

I'll put thee in a ship, and down the stream

Send thee ashore where King Echetus reigns,

(The roughest tyrant that the world contains)

And he will slit thy nostrils, crop each ear,

Thy shame cut off, and give it dogs to tear."

This shook his nerves the more. But both were now

Brought to the lists; and up did either throw

His heavy fists. Ulysses, in suspense

To strike so home that he should fright from thence

His coward soul, his trunk laid prostrate there,

Or let him take more leisure to his fear,

And stoop him by degrees. The last show'd best,

To strike him slightly, out of fear the rest

Would else discover him. But, peace now broke,

On his right shoulder Irus laid his stroke.

Ulysses struck him just beneath the ear,

His jawbone broke, and made the blood appear;

When straight he strew'd the dust, and made his cry

Stand for himself; with whom his teeth did lie,

Spit with his blood out; and against the ground

His heels lay sprawling. Up the hands went round

Of all the Wooers, all at point to die

With violent laughters. Then the king did ply

The beggar's feet, and dragg'd him forth the hall,

Along the entry, to the gates and wall;

Where leaving him, he put into his hand

A staff; and bade him there use his command

On swine and dogs, and not presume to be

Lord of the guests, or of the beggary,

Since he of all men was the scum and curse;

And so bade please with that, or fare yet worse.

Then cast he on his scrip, all-patch'd and rent,

Hung by a rotten cord, and back he went

To greet the entry's threshold with his seat.

The Wooers throng'd to him, and did entreat

With gentle words his conquest, laughing still,

Pray'd Jove and all the Gods to give his will

What most it wish'd him and would joy him most,

Since he so happily had clear'd their coast

Of that unsavoury morsel; whom they vow'd

To see with all their utmost haste bestow'd

Aboard a ship, and for Epirus sent

To King Echetus, on whose throne was spent

The worst man's seat that breath'd. And thus was grac'd

Divine Ulysses, who with joy embrac'd

Ev'n that poor conquest. Then was set to him

The goodly goat's breast promis'd (that did swim

In fat and gravy) by Antinous,

And from a basket, by Amphinomus,

Were two breads giv'n him; who, besides, renown'd

His banquet with a golden goblet; crown'd,

And this high salutation: "Frolic, guest,

And be those riches that you first possest

Restor'd again with full as many joys,

As in your poor state I see now annoys."

"Amphinomus," said he, "you seem to me

Exceeding wise, as being the progeny

Of such a father as authentic Fame

Hath told me was so, one of honour'd name,

And great revenues in Dulichius,

His fair name Nisus. He is blazon'd thus;

And you to be his son, his wisdom heiring,

As well as wealth, his state in nought impairing.

To prove which always, let me tell you this,

(As warning you to shun the miseries

That follow full states, if they be not held

With wisdom still at full, and so compell'd

To courses that abode not in their brows,

By too much swing, their sudden overthrows)

Of all things breathing, or that creep on earth,

Nought is more wretched than a human birth.

Bless'd men think never they can cursed be,

While any power lasts to move a knee.

But when the bless'd Gods make them feel that smart,

That fled their faith so, as they had no heart

They bear their suff'rings, and, what well they might

Have clearly shunn'd, they then meet in despite.

The mind of man flies still out of his way,

Unless God guide and prompt it ev'ry day.

I thought me once a blesséd man with men.

And fashion'd me to all so counted then,

Did all injustice like them, what for lust,

Or any pleasure, never so unjust

I could by pow'r or violence obtain,

And gave them both in all their pow'rs the rein,

Bold of my fathers and my brothers still;

While which held good my arts seem'd never ill.

And thus is none held simply good or bad,

But as his will is either miss'd or had.

All goods God's gifts man calls, howe'er he gets them,

And so takes all; what price soe'er God sets them,

Says nought how ill they come, nor will controul

That ravine in him, though it cost his soul.

And these parts here I see these Wooers play,

Take all that falls, and all dishonours lay

On that man's Queen, that, tell your friends, doth bear

No long time's absence, but is passing near.

Let God then guide thee home, lest he may meet

In his return thy undeparted feet;

For when he enters, and sees men so rude,

The quarrel cannot but in blood conclude."

This said, he sacrific'd, then drunk, and then

Referr'd the giv'n bowl to the guide-of-men;

Who walk'd away, afflicted at his heart,

Shook head, and fear'd that these facts would convert

To ill in th' end; yet had not grace to fly,

Minerva stay'd him, being ordain'd to die

Upon the lance of young Ulyssides.

So down he sat; and then did Pallas please

T' incline the Queen's affections to appear

To all the Wooers, to extend their cheer

To th' utmost lightning that still ushers death,

And made her put on all the painted sheath,

That might both set her Wooers' fancies high,

And get her greater honour in the eye

Ev'n of her son and sov'reign than before.

Who laughing yet, to show her humour bore

No serious appetite to that light show,

She told Eurynomé, that not till now

She ever knew her entertain desire

To please her Wooers' eyes, but oft on fire

She set their hate, in keeping from them still;

Yet now she pleas'd t' appear, though from no will

To do them honour, vowing she would tell

Her son that of them that should fit him well

To make use of; which was, not to converse

Too freely with their pride, nor to disperse

His thoughts amongst them, since they us'd to give

Good words, but through them ill intents did drive.

Eurynomé replied: "With good advise

You vow his counsel, and your open guise.

Go then, advise your son, nor keep more close

Your cheeks, still drown'd in your eyes' overflows,

But bathe your body, and with balms make clear

Your thicken'd count'nance. Uncomposéd cheer,

And ever mourning, will the marrow wear.

Nor have you cause to mourn; your son hath now

Put on that virtue which, in chief, your vow

Wish'd, as your blessing, at his birth, might deck

His blood and person." "But forbear to speak

Of baths, or balmings, or of beauty, now,"

The Queen replied, "lest, urging comforts, you

Discomfort much; because the Gods have won

The spoil of my looks since my lord was gone.

But these must serve. Call hither then to me

Hippodamia and Autonoé,

That those our train additions may supply

Our own deserts. And yet, besides, not I,

With all my age, have learn'd the boldness yet

T' expose myself to men, unless I get

Some other gracers." This said, forth she went

To call the ladies, and much spirit spent

To make their utmost speed, for now their Queen

Would both herself show, and make them be seen.

But now Minerva other projects laid,

And through Icarius' daughter's veins convey'd

Sweet sleep's desire; in whose soft fumes involv'd

She was as soon as laid, and quite dissolv'd

Were all her lineaments. The Goddess then

Bestow'd immortal gifts on her, that men

Might wonder at her beauties; and the beams

That glister in the Deified Supremes

She clear'd her mourning count'nance up withall.

Ev'n such a radiance as doth round empall

Crown'd Cytherea, when her order'd places

Conduct the bevy of the dancing Graces,

She added to her own; more plump, more high,

And fairer than the polish'd ivory,

Rend'ring her parts and presence. This grace done,

Away the Deity flew; and up did run

Her lovely-wristed ladies, with a noise

That blew the soft chains from her sleeping joys;

When she her fair eyes wip'd, and, gasping, said:

"O me unblest! How deep a sweet sleep spread

His shades about me! Would Diana pleas'd

To shoot me with a death no more diseas'd,

As soon as might be, that no more my moan

Might waste my blood in weepings never done,

For want of that accomplish'd virtue spher'd

In my lov'd lord, to all the Greeks preferr'd!"

Then she descended with her maids, and took

Place in the portal; whence her beamy look

Reach'd ev'ry Wooer's heart; yet cast she on

So thin a veil, that through it quite there shone

A grace so stol'n, it pleas'd above the clear,

And sunk the knees of ev'ry Wooer there,

Their minds so melted in love's vehement fires,

That to her bed she heighten'd all desires.

The prince then coming near, she said: "O son,

Thy thoughts and judgments have not yet put on

That constancy in what becomes their good,

Which all expect in thee. Thy younger blood

Did sparkle choicer spirits; but, arriv'd

At this full growth, wherein their form hath thriv'd

Beyond the bounds of childhood, and when now,

Beholders should affirm, 'This man doth grow

Like the rare son of his matchless Sire,

(His goodliness, his beauty, and his fire

Of soul aspir'd to)' thou mak'st nothing good

Thy fate, nor fortune, nor thy height of blood,

In manage of thy actions. What a deed

Of foul desert hath thy gross suff'rance freed

Beneath thine own roof! A poor stranger here

Us'd most unmanly! How will this appear

To all the world, when Fame shall trumpet out,

That thus, and thus, are our guests beat about

Our court unrighted? 'Tis a blaze will show

Extremely shameful to your name and you."

"I blame you not, O mother," he replied,

"That, this clear wrong sustain'd by me, you chide;

Yet know I both the good and bad of all,

Being past the years in which young errors fall.

But, all this known, skill is not so exact

To give, when once it knows, things fit their fact.

I well may doubt the prease of strangers here,

Who, bent to ill, and only my nerves near,

May do it in despite. And yet the jar

Betwixt our guest and Irus was no war

Wrought by the Wooers; nor our guest sustain'd

Wrong in that action, but the conquest gain'd.

And would to Jove, Minerva, and the Sun,

That all your Wooers might serve Contention

For such a purchase as the beggar made,

And wore such weak heads! Some should death invade,

Strew'd in the entry, some embrue the hall,

Till ev'ry man had vengeance capital,

Sattled like Irus at the gates, his head

Ev'ry way nodding, like one forfeited

To reeling Bacchus, knees nor feet his own,

To bear him where he's better lov'd or known."

Their speeches giv'n this end, Eurymachus

Began his courtship, and express'd it thus:

"Most wise Icarius' daughter! If all those,

That did for Colchos vent'rous sail dispose

For that rich purchase, had before but seen

Earth's richer prize in th' Ithacensian Queen,

They had not made that voyage, but to you

Would all their virtues and their beings vow.

Should all the world know what a worth you store,

To-morrow than to-day, and next light, more

Your court should banquet; since to all dames you

Are far preferr'd, both for the grace of show,

In stature, beauty, form in ev'ry kind

Of all parts outward, and for faultless mind."

"Alas," said she, "my virtue, body, form,

The Gods have blasted with that only storm

That ravish'd Greece to Ilion, since my lord,

For that war shipp'd, bore all my goods aboard.

If he, return'd, should come and govern here

My life's whole state, the grace of all things there

His guide would heighten, as the spirit it bore;

Which dead in me lives, giv'n him long before.

A sad course I live now; Heav'n's stern decree

With many an ill hath numb'd and deaded me.

He took life with him, when he took my hand

In parting from me to the Trojan strand,

These words my witness: 'Woman! I conceive

That not all th' Achives bound for Troy shall leave

Their native earth their safe returnéd bones,

Fame saying, that Troy trains up approvéd sons

In deeds of arms, brave putters-off of shafts,

For winging lances masters of their crafts,

Unmatchéd riders, swift of foot, and straight

Can arbitrate a war of deadliest weight.

Hope then can scarce fill all with life's supply,

And of all any failing, why not I?

Nor do I know, if God hath marshall'd me

Amongst the safe-return'd; or his decree

Hath left me to the thraldom order'd there.

However, all cares be thy burthens here,

My sire and mother tend as much as now,

I further off, more near in cares be you.

Your son to man's state grown, wed whom you will;

And, you gone, his care let his household fill.'

Thus made my lord his will, which Heav'n sees prov'd

Almost at all parts; for the Sun remov'd

Down to his set, ere long, will lead the night

Of those abhorréd nuptials, that should fright

Each worthy woman, which her second are

With any man that breathes, her first lord's care

Dead, because he to flesh and blood is dead;

Which, I fear, I shall yield to, and so wed

A second husband; and my reason is,

Since Jove hath taken from me all his bliss.

Whom God gives over they themselves forsake,

Their griefs their joys, their God their devil, make.

And 'tis a great grief, nor was seen till now

In any fashion of such men as woo

A good and wealthy woman, and contend

Who shall obtain her, that those men should spend

Her beeves and best sheep, as their chiefest ends,

But rather that herself and all her friends

They should with banquets and rich gifts entreat.

Their life is death that live with other's meat."

Divine Ulysses much rejoic'd to hear

His Queen thus fish for gifts, and keep in cheer.

Their hearts with hope that she would wed again,

Her mind yet still her first intent retain.

Antinous saw the Wooers won to give,

And said: "Wise Queen, by all your means receive

Whatever bounty any Wooer shall use.

Gifts freely giv'n 'tis folly to refuse.

For know, that we resolve not to be gone

To keep our own roofs, till of all some one,

Whom best you like, your long-woo'd love shall win."

This pleas'd the rest, and ev'ry one sent in

His present by the herald. First had place

Antinous' gift: A robe of special grace,

Exceeding full and fair, and twenty hues

Chang'd lustre to it; to which choice of shows,

Twelve massy plated buttons, all of gold,

Enrich'd the substance, made to fairly hold

The robe together, all lac'd down before,

Where keeps and catches both sides of it wore.

Eurymachus a golden tablet gave,

In which did Art her choicest works engrave;

And round about an amber verge did run,

That cast a radiance from it like the Sun.

Eurydamas two servants had that bore

Two goodly earrings, whose rich hollows wore

Three pearls in either, like so many eyes,

Reflecting glances radiant as the skies.

The king Pisander, great Polyctor's heir,

A casket gave, exceeding rich and fair.

The other other wealthy gifts commended

To her fair hand; which took, and straight ascended

This Goddess of her sex her upper state.

Her ladies all her gifts elaborate

Up bearing after. All to dancing then

The Wooers went, and song's delightful strain;

In which they frolick'd, till the evening came,

And then rais'd sable Hesperus his flame.

When, for their lights within, they set up there

Three lamps, whose wicks were wood exceeding sere,

And passing porous; which they caus'd to burn,

Their matter ever minister'd by turn

Of sev'ral handmaids. Whom Ulysses seeing

Too conversant with Wooers, ill-agreeing

With guise of maids, advis'd in this fair sort:

"Maids of your long-lack'd King, keep you the port

Your Queen's chaste presence bears. Go up to her,

Employ your looms, or rocks, and keep ye there;

I'll serve to feed these lamps, should these lords' dances

Last till Aurora cheer'd us with their glances.

They cannot weary me, for I am one

Born to endure when all men else have done."

They wantonly brake out in laughters all,

Look'd on each other; and to terms did fall

Cheek-proud Melantho, who was Dolius' seed,

Kept by the Queen, that gave her dainty bread

Fit for her daughter; and yet won not so

Her heart to her to share in any woe

She suffer'd for her lord, but she was great

With great Eurymachus, and her love's heat

In his bed quench'd. And this choleric thing

Bestow'd this railing language on the King:

"Base stranger, you are taken in your brain,

You talk so wildly. Never you again

Can get where you were born, and seek your bed

In some smith's hovel, or the marketsted,

But here you must take confidence to prate

Before all these; for fear can get no state

In your wine-hardy stomach. Or 'tis like

To prove your native garb, your tongue will strike

On this side of your mouth still, being at best.

Is the man idle-brain'd for want of rest?

Or proud because he beat the roguish beggar?

Take heed, Sir, lest some better man beleager

Your ears with his fists, and set headlong hence

Your bold abode here with your blood's expence."

He, looking sternly on her, answer'd her:

"Dog! What broad language giv'st thou? I'll prefer

Your usage to the prince, that he may fall

Foul on your fair limbs till he tell them all."

This fray'd the wenches, and all straight got gone

In fear about their business, ev'ry one

Confessing he said well. But he stood now

Close by the cressets, and did looks bestow

On all men there; his brain employ'd about

Some sharper business than to dance it out,

Which had not long to go. Nor therefore would

Minerva let the Wooers' spleens grow cold

With too good usuage of him, that his heart

Might fret enough, and make his choler smart.

Eurymachus provok'd him first, and made

His fellow laugh, with a conceit he had

Fetch'd far from what was spoken long before,

That his poor form perhaps some Deity bore.

"It well may chance," said he, "some God doth bear

This man's resemblance, for, thus standing near

The glist'ring torches, his slick'd head doth throw

Beams round about it as those cressets do,

For not a hair he hath to give it shade.

Say, will thy heart serve t' undertake a trade

For fitting wages? Should I take thee hence

To walk my grounds, and look to ev'ry fence,

Or plant high trees, thy hire should raise thy forces

Food store, and clothes. But these same idle courses

Thou art so prompt in that thou wilt not work,

But forage up and down, and beg, and lurk

In ev'ry house whose roofs hold any will

To feed such fellows. That thy gut may fill,

Gives end to all thy being." He replied:

"I wish, at any work we two were tried,

In height of spring-time, when heav'n's lights are long,

I a good crook'd scythe that were sharp and strong,

You such another, where the grass grew deep,

Up by day-break, and both our labours keep

Up till slow darkness eas'd the labouring light,

Fasting all day, and not a crumb till night;

We then should prove our either workmanship.

Or if, again, beeves, that the goad or whip

Were apt t' obey before a tearing plow,

Big lusty beasts, alike in bulk and brow,

Alike in labour, and alike in strength,

Our task four acres, to be till'd in length

Of one sole day; again: then you should try

If the dull glebe before the plow should fly,

Or I a long stitch could bear clean and even.

Or lastly, if the Guide of earth and heaven

Should stir stern war up, either here or there,

And that at this day I had double spear,

And shield, and steel casque fitting for my brows;

At this work likewise, 'midst the foremost blows,

Your eyes should note me, and get little cause

To twit me with my belly's sole applause.

But you affect t' affect with injury,

Your mind ungentle, seem in valour high,

Because 'gainst few, and those not of the best,

Your conversation hath been still profest.

But if Ulysses, landed on his earth,

And enter'd on the true right of his birth,

Should come and front ye, straight his ample gates

Your feet would hold too narrow for your fates."

He frown'd, rag'd, call'd him wretch, and vow'd

To be his death, since he durst prove so proud

Amongst so many, to tell him so home

What he affected; ask'd, if overcome

With wine he were, or, as his minion said,

Talk'd still so idly, and were palsiéd

In his mind's instruments, or was proud because

He gat from Irus off with such applause?

With all which, snatching up a stool, he threw;

When old Ulysses to the knees withdrew

Of the Dulichian lord, Amphinomus,

As if he fear'd him. His dart missing thus

His aged object, and his page's hand

(A boy that waited on his cup's command,

Now holding of an ewer to him) he smit,

Down fell the sounding ewer, and after it

The guiltless page lay sprawling in the dust,

And crying out. When all the Wooers thrust

A tumult up amongst them, wishing all

The rogue had perish'd in some hospital,

Before his life there stirr'd such uproars up,

And with rude speeches spice their pleasures' cup.

And all this for a beggar to fulfill

A filthy proverb: Good still yields to ill.

The prince cried out on them, to let the bad

Obscure the good so; told them they were mad,

Abus'd their banquet, and affirm'd some God

Tried mast'ries with them; bade them take their load

Of food and wine, sit up, or fall to bed

At their free pleasures; and since he gave head

To all their freedoms, why should they mistake

Their own rich humours for a beggar's sake?

All bit their lips to be so taken down,

And taught the course that should have been their own,

Admir'd the prince; and said he bravely spoke.

But Nisus' son then struck the equal stroke,

And said: "O friends, let no man here disdain

To put up equal speeches, nor maintain

With serious words an humour, nor with stroke

A stranger in another's house provoke,

Nor touch the meanest servant, but confine

All these dissentions in a bowl of wine;

Which fill us, cup-bearer, that, having done

Our nightly sacrifice, we may atone

Our pow'rs with sleep, resigning first the guest

Up to the prince, that holds all interest

In his disposure here; the house being his

In just descent, and all the faculties."

This all approv'd; when noble Mulius,

Herald-in-chief to lord Amphinomus,

The wine distributed with rev'rend grace

To ev'ry Wooer; when the Gods giv'n place;

With service fit; they serv'd themselves, and took

Their parting cups, till, when they all had shook

The angry humour off, they bent to rest,

And ev'ry Wooer to sev'ral roofs addrest.